Around 25% of men and 15% of women admit to cheating in their lifetime (and that’s just the ones who are being honest). With this in mind, it’s easy to see why you would be curious to find out how to catch someone cheating on you.
These tips will help you spot or catch a cheating spouse or significant other. Keep in mind that one of these things may not mean your partner is cheating. But, if all of these red flags are up at once, you may have a cheater on your hands.
1. Once a Cheater Always a Cheater?
If you’re wondering how to catch someone cheating on you, look at their past and your own. Studies have proven that those who have cheated in the past are more than 3 times as likely to cheat in future relationships.
Alternatively, people who have been cheated on before are more likely to get cheated on in the future.
If you are aware that your partner has cheated in past relationships or has cheated on you before, then there is a much higher chance that this kind of activity will happen again.
Of course, this isn’t a 100% indicator, but it should be taken into consideration if other symptoms are prevalent.
2. Look for a Change in Their Schedule
When individuals are being unfaithful, their schedule often has to adapt. People who want to know how to catch a cheating husband, wife or significant other should keep a keen eye on the schedule of their partner.
If your partner is suddenly leaving for work extra or early, coming home much later than usual, or running out on unusually long “errands” there may very well be something secretive going on.
In long-term relationships, individuals learn each other’s schedules. Humans are creatures of habit who do things a certain way and at a certain time. If they all the sudden start changing these things, it should be considered a red flag.
3. They Begin Working Harder on Their Appearance
After individuals have been in a committed relationship for a while and the “honeymoon” phase has worn off, they usually stop trying as hard as they once did to impress their partner.
Maybe your husband has taken to shaving much more often or you noticed that your wife has started doing her makeup more frequently and using perfume. Perhaps your significant other has been paying significantly closer attention to their personal hygiene or started working out more.
Usually, if your partner is doing this to improve themselves overall or to rekindle things in your relationship, they will communicate it with you. If they appear to be doing this completely out of the blue or in a sly manner, it is probably for a bad reason.
4. They “Gaslight” You
Gaslighting is a very common and cruel strategy among cheaters. If you want to know how to catch someone cheating on you, this is one of the biggest signs you should look for.
The act of gaslighting is a process where individuals essentially make their significant other feel crazy. The reason this works so well is that it flips the guilt and the spotlight off of them and onto the victim.
Gaslighting gives the cheater ultimate control through manipulation and is considered a form of mental abuse.
If you begin to ask any seemingly harmless questions and your partner blows them out of proportion or get overly defensive, they may be gaslighting you.
If you express any concern about their possible infidelity, they may go into a rage or try to make you feel bad instead of calming your nerves and calmly reassuring you.
The ultimate goal of this tactic is to make you feel unsure of yourself, guilty, insecure, and more codependent than before.
By doing this, the cheater in the relationship is able to maintain total control of the relationship and keep both relationships going at the same time.
5. You Can’t Get in Touch With Your Partner
It’s not uncommon to call your significant other and have them not answer their phone. Maybe a text goes unanswered for a few hours every here and there because they didn’t see it.
While these occurrences happen on a semi-normal basis, it should definitely be a warning sign if it suddenly begins to happen much more often than usual.
This sign should be especially alarming if you’ve noticed that they are often on their phone and answer your texts or phone calls immediately.
When your partner does return from they are and try to act like it wasn’t a big deal or make you feel paranoid, there is a good chance that they are hiding something.
6. Your Gut Is Telling You That Something Is Wrong
The saying “trust your gut” doesn’t come from nowhere. Your brain picks up on a lot of things that you may not consciously realize. The way your partner talks to you, certain mannerisms, their schedule, their scent, etc.
This tip can be thought of as a combination of all 5 before it.
Think of all the steps prior to this as a puzzle. If your partner is exhibiting one or two pieces of this puzzle, it can probably be addressed or even shrugged off depending on how much trust you have for them.
If 3,4,5 or more odd pieces of the puzzle come together, your gut or intuition will tell you that something is wrong.
If things do feel off, don’t doubt yourself.
7. Hire a Professional Who Knows How to Catch Someone Cheating on You
If you’ve noticed a bunch of red flags but can’t prove that your significant other is cheating on you, it may be time to hire a private investigator.
Private investigators are like detectives but for matters that you may not want to/can’t call the police for.
There are certain individuals who have built entire careers on catching cheating spouses, and they’re incredibly good at it. Most of a private investigator’s job involves surveillance. This means tracking one’s spouse’s movements whether it be at work or during other tasks that are completed outside of the home.
Usually, a private investigator is hired because individuals don’t have the time to watch their spouse or they don’t want to be caught watching their spouse because of the stress it could cause on the relationship if their spouse was innocent.
The caveat to hiring a private investigator is that they are expensive. As a last resort option, this is often the best choice (provided you have the money for it).
Finding out how to catch a cheating spouse or significant other is a stressful and anxiety-inducing topic. It can be easy to go too far, and many times individuals end up doing just that.
Husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends have been known to hide video cameras, bug rooms with microphones, or even track their significant other’s vehicle with a small GPS.
This kind of activity is creepy at best and illegal at worst. If you suspect that your partner may be tracking you, be sure to get help and protect your privacy.
Remember, the most important thing is communication. Many partners often end up cheating because they don’t feel trusted or loved anymore. If you feel like your partner may be cheating on you, be sure to bring it up to them before reading too deeply into any flags that pop up.